Be Excellent to Each Other… Daggone It!
During my younger days, the weekly television program Saturday Night Live was a favorite “guilty pleasure” of the Miller’s. The content was always a little racy, controversial even. I felt so grown-up sitting there with the rest of my family. I mean seriously, it was almost midnight. Being the second youngest of 5 children most of the humor was beyond my level of comprehension. No big deal, I just laughed when everyone else laughed. I faked it. Our conversations to this day are laced with SNL quotes and references, and as I approach my 35th birthday I’m faking it less and less.
One skit that was introduced in the early 90’s was Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley. The focus of the skit is Stuart who works with celebrities in the capacity of their “non-professional” therapist/life coach. For example, he ironically consults with Michael Jordan telling him he “doesn’t have to be a great basketball player, doesn’t have to dribble the ball fast, doesn’t have to throw the ball into the basket.” All this if he is only “the best Michael he can be.” He closes every session having his guest look into a mirror to repeat the following: “I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!”
Now, I’m a Dentist. Sometime ago I wrote in the pages of 406 Woman that having a dental procedure performed should reside quite low on your list of enjoyable activities. I went as far as calling anyone who enjoys dental work a “dental weirdo.” I’ve accepted this public opinion of my line of work and quite frankly can’t apply Stuart’s final affirmation to myself. Oh I’m Good Enough, and I’m Smart Enough, but Doggone It, People Don’t Like Me.
Dentistry is uncomfortable. At any given moment there are 3 or more different tools, vacuums, fingers, etc. in your mouth. There are unpleasant sounds, smells, and vibrations. Then there is the Sh*t (the S-Word is considered a curse word in my dental office and not suitable for children) and the numb lip and tongue that follow. Dentistry is inconvenient and can be expensive. Avoid those folks that profess their love of dentistry, they indeed, are not normal.
This is not a rant, and I couldn’t be more happy and satisfied with my chosen profession. Do I have patients that love me and my staff? Do I have patients that love their overall experience in my office? Yes, of course. My line of work is a necessary evil and we are converting people into dental weirdos by making everything else, other than us seeing how big their mouth is, exceptional. While the experience isn’t necessarily enjoyable, we take measures to make it less uncomfortable and more convenient. Let’s discuss one example, a distraction technique we refer to as “plugging a patient into the Matrix.”
The Matrix is 3-fold: 1) The Patient is fitted with an intraoral suction and isolation device called an IsoLite. This device allows the patient to relax with their mouths propped open, their cheeks and tongues safely retracted, with no concern of water in their throats. Google it. 2) The Patient is fitted with clean over-the-ear noise reducing headphones. 3) The patient is given their choice of in-house DVD selections to watch on a movable flat screen display. Their is one exception to the above steps; on Thursdays we institute Throwback Law with our teenage patients and highly recommend titles from the 80’s or earlier. Selections such as The Princess Bride, Top Gun, Rad, Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story (seasonal), Star Wars, The Goonies, etc.
During a recent visit with a new teenage patient to our office I inquired as to what class she was getting out of by coming to the dentist. This patient is 17 years old and a Junior in high school. She responded that she was “getting out of” history class. She continued with her concern over a big history report that was soon to be due. We then went on to explain that in an effort make her visit “less uncomfortable,” we would fit her with some noise-reducing headphones and play a Throwback selection from 1989 detailing the struggles of two young gentlemen who found themselves in very similar circumstances to her’s. Their names are Bill & Ted.
The movie I’m referencing is of course the cult-classic Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. To make short work of the plot, Bill & Ted need to ace their history report to pass high school and are introduced to a magical time-traveling phone booth at their neighborhood convenience store. They travel all through history kidnapping historical figures to bring back for their report. They nabbed Napoleon, Billy the Kid, Sigmund Freud, Joan of Ark, Beethoven, Genghis Khan, and Abraham Lincoln. They also go back in time to give advice to their younger selves on occasion. For context it should be noted that Bill & Ted are portrayed as your stereotypical 1980’s slackers.
In the final scenes of the movie Bill & Ted are faced with various obstacles preventing them from arriving, with their band of historical figures, on time for their history report. This is where the movie caught my attention. Bill & Ted, realizing the power of the magical phone booth start doing some pretty creative things. For instance, they address the present obstacles by telling each other to not forget to go back in time from the future to address the presently faced obstacle. (I know, take a deep breath and read that last sentence again slowly.) The obstacle would resolve itself instantly upon them realizing that they could use their time-traveling abilities in this way. For example, they needed some keys and Bill told Ted to remind him in the future to go back in time to steal the keys and stash them behind a signpost right next to where they were standing. The keys were immediately found behind the signpost.
Now, not only was this quite a creative piece of script writing in an otherwise joke of a movie, but it rang familiar to me as a dentist. Hindsight is 20/20. How often do I hear a patient wish that they could go back in time to pound the importance of Oral Hygiene into their younger selves. In a Bill & Ted’s world I could watch cavities and gum disease disappear as patients think about going back in time from the future to do a better job at caring for their mouths. My job would be very different: “Mr. Jones, you have 3 cavities that would have been prevented with better flossing, and it appears that your gums are puffy and inflamed from gingivitis. Please think about leaving here and going back in time to discuss these findings with your younger self and I’ll be back in a few minutes to make sure the cavities and gingivitis are gone.
This is all very fantastical, and while I’m no physicist I’m confident in telling you that time travel is unlikely going to happen in your lifetime if ever at all. Please accept this as a voice from the future: If you are not putting in the effort to care for teeth be it inadequate brushing, flossing, not seeing your hygienist on a regular basis, or poor dietary choices, etc., you will have future pain and regrets. Make a goal to start today and come see us if it has been awhile. Lastly, Be Excellent to Each Other and Smile Montana!
Read Be Excellent to Each Other…Daggone It! by Dr. John F. Miller in 406 Woman.