Nods, Waves, Smiles, & Real Life Cowboys
I currently have the active role of Father to four children. Which is another way of saying that I'm being taken to school on a daily basis. It has been, and will continue to be, an education. One might suggest that we are raising each other. I'm going for my PhD in... rearing (I have got to be the only person to say that...like ever). My wife asked if I was going to have "the procedure" done. I told her, "Welp, I have a soft tissue laser, the internet, a foggy grasp of reproductive anatomy, and the farmer's daughter for a wife...so we can probably do it at home." The negotiations continue.
One of my favorite things about parenting is watching kids learn the rules of society; Social Norms, if you will. I tell my friends who do not have children of their own (on some days I refer to these friends geniuses) to imagine going out in public with four mouths that you are responsible for, all attached to different brains with varying filter levels. If one or more of those mouths goes rogue, the judgment is on you, not the innocent kid.
Society has, as it seems, placed a lot of value on a nice smile. Famed social scientist and one of my favorites authors, Malcolm Gladwell, has concluded that our smiles have a definite influence on our social mobility. He explains that bad teeth and obesity are part of "the next wave" of physical discrimination in society. In a nutshell, your smile will greatly influence your personal and professional relationships.
An important component of any relationship, perhaps the most important, is the very first meeting. Also, known as The First Impression! I conducted my own little experiment for this article and Googled "great first impressions." In 0.34 4 seconds 46.6 million options were at my fingertips. But, as any Googler knows, you're only interested in the first page of organic search results. This first page had 10 results from respected sources such as Forbes, Psychology Today, etc. and all were focused on First Impression instruction. Here is the data from reading all 10 sources: 7 reference having a pleasant smile directly, 2 reference physical appearance without a direct reference to smiling, and one was focused on first impressions over the phone so smiling was not applicable.
My research also taught me that it takes mere seconds for the first impression to be made, and that the first impression is formed entirely off what are labeled Non-Verbal Cues. Remaining in the context of first impressions, important non-verbal cues include posture, eye contact, dress and grooming, your smile, etc. All of these cues have the good and the not-so-good.
It is not lost on me that I'm at dentist and that I have a vested. interest in your smiles, but this is one of those "don't hate the messenger" scenarios. We are told to dress for the job you want, and I hope it's not too cheesy to to say, "Smile for the life you want."Life is full of challenges. Make sure your smile is one of the sol of the solutions and not an obstacle. If left unchecked, poor oral hygiene will reveal itself in your smile. I was told a story once about a leader of a business who would schedule prospective employee interviews during lunch. When the interviewee arrived, he would suggest they conduct the interview over lunch somewhere over land and asked them to drive. He said. the individual's car could tell him more about the person than what was on their resume.
For those who don't know, we moved here from San Francisco. Now, I don't mean like near San Now, Francisco in the bay somewhere; I mean right in the city. There difference in Social Norms between Frisco 2 and the Flathead, as you can imagine. So, when I brought my 5-year-old daughter to Montana, she was not fascinated by those living an alternative lifestyle. Wild hairdos, flashing clothing, tattoos, hipsters. This is what she was accustomed to. What really got her excited her first few months in Whitefish were the Cowboys.
I was excited about slowing things down and falling back into my natural small town routine. This meant that I would greet my fellow residents with a nod and a smile, or a smile and a wave if we passed on the road. "Who was that Daddy," | would hear from the back seat. "I don't know, Nayvee," I would reply. "Why did you wave to them if you don't know them," was her follow up. "That's just the way we do thing in Mon- tana." It felt good teaching her that lesson, developing her routine.
The world has had its fair share of Drama recently. Can I get an Amen? Some of this drama has hit us close to home. I can't remember a time where our friendly smiles and waves were more needed. If you need a reason to smile, just remember that you don't just live free in America; you live in Montana where we still smile and wave to our neighbors and we have real-life Cowboys.
Read Nods, Waves, Smiles, & Real Life Cowboys and other Smile Montana articles by Dr. John F. Miller, DDS, in 406 Woman magazines.